Retarded Ass Reporters

I cant even watch the news anymore without seeing some retarded-ass reporter, so-called reporting on an issue that we all supposedly need to know about. Scaring us to death. I am just going to swear off news altogether.
A reporter on CNN, supposedly the most trusted news station of all, is going to take an hour out of all the loyal CNN watchers day on Tuesday to report on fake cops that come to your door, flash a badge and then attack you. They will most likely be basing thier entire report on an isolated incident that happened in Delaware, (hey people in Delaware are bored. Can we really blame them?) and because of it, Americans will be scared. I am just going to become a hermit because I cannot even step outside my front door without the fear that the ones who are there to serve and protect me, now want to rape me and mutilate my body. I cant carry lighters in my pocket, because as we all know, they explode in your pants. I cant wear pajamas at night in fear that the mutagens in them will turn me into a caterpillar whilst I sleep. And if and when the cops did come to my door, real cops, I would have to think about what I did carefully before I took that dreaded step into the outside world, because had I been holding some sort of fruit the wrong way they could mistake it for a grenade and shoot me 155 times. Even my own home isnt safe, with odorless, invisble gas being pumped into my home each and every day from my stove. I cant walk down the street for fear that i will be mugged, raped, or a 1,000 pound chunk of metal will come hurdling my way. What the hell are these people thinking when they report these stories? I already have enough scary dreams about the cops coming to my house, mistaking me for a terrorist and taking me to thier dungeon. Do we, as Americans, really need any more?
When will someone report the real issues, like how President Bush has successfully completely destroyed our countries' moral, or how we have thousands of teens fighting and dying in Iraq for oil, or how we shouldnt even be there in the first place, or how Bush and his ever-following cabinet of the anointed doesnt give a flying fuck. No, instead we report on games where people find guns, kill someone, and stash it somewhere for the next killer to find it, (American killing games, wow thats original.) third world countries, and scientology. But the real issues are all hush-hush. Dont we have enough OCD freaks, enough hermits and enough over-protective parents already? Do we really need to scare them even more? These scare tactics are just a diversion from the bigger issues at hand.
I cant even eat a hot dog with out cutting it up anymore and not be in fear, because the reporters have informed me, that people choke. When will they start reporting on the real issues, when will they stop putting people like Angelina Jolie on the air talking about her cohorts of frolicking in Africa. Thank you Angelina, thank you for using your fame and power so wisely, thank you for helping the American people out so much. Thank you. Thanks for nothing.
Not that I am saying what she does is wrong, or inneffective, but I dont need to be shown images of children rotting in puddles of thier own stool to know that there are starving children in the world. I know it because there are mothers and children starving right here. Right here. The place where she will leave to go on her escapades of saving the world. No need to fear Africa, because SuperAngie will come and save your meaningless day. Why not try and save someone here? Why not? Instead she so cleverly diverts our attention to these countries, so we inadvertantly forget about our own. She is just a poppet for thier cause.
Will someone stand up and say something? No, no, no, we cant do that. We cant talk about the anointed, we cant talk about real threats and ideas. We rather scare ourselves to death talking about bullshit.
Where is the free speech America prides itself on? There is no such thing. Talk about your mother, and thats ok. Talk about your job, thats ok too... wait, depending on what type of job you have, but talk about your president, who has the most affect of all on your daily life, now its no, shut up, that cant be said. Keep talking, and next time you step outside there will be the swat team waiting to STOP you. Arent the reporters there to critisize and question? To find out the REAL stories, to really did deep, and to advise us of truths? Evidently, they forgot. Or if they didnt "forget" they are long gone, buried deep in the history books of the reporting businesss.
Its ridiculous people. Its ridiculous that you buy it. Its ridiculous that you feed into it, with your irrational fears and "flock of sheep" tendencies. Its just ridiculous. Only you have the power to change it. Take that and chew on it.

Mmmm Tastes Good.