January Rant: I dont know WTF to rant about

So I feel like I havent blogged for like, EVER..(I havent since OCTOBER, my god where have the months gone?) lol.

..Yet for some reason, I feel I NEED to. Its wierd. Must be theraputic. Sad thing is, I dont know what to fucking blog about. Yeah I know, two thumbs down! One from Siskel and the other from that dead Ebert guy. My blogs have been weak sauce lately anyway. So who gives a fuck, right? I guess this is an update then.

Cheers to me.

Oh fuck. I think I chipped a tooth on my cup. I guess thats what you get for getting completely sauced by yourself like a fucking total douche-bag. Whatever. So I finally decided Im getting another tattoo! I been wanting my life long motto "Dum spiro, Spero" (While I breathe, I hope) for like *everz* down my spine but then Obama said it in his speech to the ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY and I was like, oh great. Way to go, Jess. Way to be a huuuuge poser. So yeah. I had a dream and it got shot down like Martin Luther. C'est la vie. Long story short, now Im completely blank on what to get. Ive looked into the whole UV thing (now you see it, now you dont) But you can still sorta see a scar and yeah Im not one of those freaks that likes to walk around with raised bumps that sorta resemble words. Ill pass, thanks.

Ahh, its 2009. Yayyyyyy. Another year has passed and it seems Ive done nothing but stumble backwards. How Classy. Enough about the holidays.. I fucking hate them all. Bahh HUMBUG! Hmmm. OH! Ive been writing poetry again. Shocker! Sadly, I havent written a poem since I was 15 years old. I was reminded (inspired) by someone I think, (I wont say who) but Im glad i did. It opened my eyes again. I think in the future months Ill have less anger management issues, (less tactless outbursts) so thats something 'flowery' to look forward to in 2009. Dont think Ill be posting any here though. I might be ready to admit I write poems, (hardly) but Im definitely not ready for strangers to read them.

Work is good. Tax season is coming up. I cant wait! Bring on the "nigga" rich-ness, I am so fucking ready. I cant wait for some unsuspecting schmuck to cash his check at the local Amscot at ten and be pullin his pockets for lint by 12. Bahahah. I pity the fools. *chuckles*

Oh, how sad. I just realized pretty much nothing has changed since the last time I blogged. Thats why I couldnt think of anything to write about. Duh! I still hate ppl in general. I still talk randomly about shit that doesnt fucking matter. I still eat Mcdonalds like, EVERY day. Despite my New years resolution to stop.. Ugh, pipe dreams. (I know, Monopoly has been over for like, yearz homey but I seriously think Im addicted.) <-- Which reminds me...

Oops,

I just remembered!

I stopped drinking Red Bull. That is something new. For anyone who knows me thats an amazing feat! For me, Red Bull was like crack for a.. erm.. crackhead. I been drinking it religiously everysingleday for five years straight. I seriously think there were a few times I considered sucking strange dick for a four pack. Lmao. Yeah. It was BAD.. But, amazingly, I havent had one in like, over a month. More than that actually. One night I drank like ten, and woke up in the morning thinking I was going to die. Nothing like a near death experience and a 200 dollar ambulance ride to open your eyes about things. So yeah. I havent touched the silver can that 'gives you wings' since. That shit almost gave me wings, alright. Not the kind I wanted though.

Anyway- my eyes are starting to burn, the computer has got me fried, I guess thats my update then. Ill prolly be editing later.. but for now, Ill rest my weary eyes.

Peace.

**edit**

I so just got my bill and the ambulance cost 500, not two. Ahh, the neverending joys of inflation. Nothing like a doctor telling you "your gonna live, you'll be fine" to rack up bad credit. Im not even sure if he was a doctor, really. I think he might have been one of those slightly queer nurses assistants. (the equivalent of a male cheerleader in the medical world)

I thought of something fantastic about the Holidays too. The idea that 3 years ago on Christmas, I was treckking the practically frozen tundra some like to call Chicago.. this year I sipped a Pina Colada and enjoyed a cool breeze. Excellent choice madame, excellent choice. *pats back* Dont get me wrong... I still love it, but now I actually have an escape route if it gets too cold. Lol. Nothing like mushing a little baby "ooo coo chee coo" with retarded baby talk and then handing him back to the mother when the little bugger shits himself, or starts to cry. Hahaha. Thats kinda how I feel about Chicago.

Does anyone know what its like to get a car wash and at the end of it the water dries as a sheet of ice? (Almost instantly this happens) Good luck trying to open your doors or get out of the car for hours. (its impossible, you gotta put the heat on full blast and the windows dont roll down so.. you practically cook waiting for it to melt) Why I even got a car wash in winter in the first place, the world will never know. (Not even I know) But the point of the story is, here in Florida that will never happen again!!! So rest assure you wont see me in some car wash parking lot trying to kick my car door open anytime soon. Hahahah. Good Times.

**end edit**