27.8.13
22.7.11
CreepTastic: An Rookies Guide to a Successful Creep
Well Hellooo there "Novice Creep"!
If you're here it's probably because you saw our YouTube video on the rules to #Creepin and need a little more guidance. I hear ya partner, creepin ain't easy.
If you've already attempted Creepin and weren't successful, [See #CreepDefeat] that's because there are a lot of components that go into becoming a #CreepGod and some of them have to do more with practice and less with following rules.
First thing to do when preparing for to go Creepin is to get into #CreepMode. Most of you are thinking, hey that's easy. Well if you've been a Creeper as long as I have it is, but for a #CreeperApprentice it may be a tad more difficult. When I am getting into creepmode I like to spy on my neighbors from directly outside their bedroom window. Why? Because its creepy as hell.
You may find you like to watch R. Kelly videos [and I'm not talking about his music], study 'before' and 'after' pictures of Michael Jackson, or if you're a man, dress up in women's tights and fondle yourself in the mirror. [Hey, whatever get's you going partner, I dont judge]. It doesnt matter how you do it, all that matters is that you get the job done.
Once you have transistioned into #CreepMode, the next order of business is to figure out your #CreepGear. As you know from Rule #1 of Creepin, you MUST have a disguise. Disguises must be something you can easily put on and remove, because as you know the second rule of Creepin is that NO ONE must discover you're a Creep. Things like Coke Bottle Glasses/Reindeer Noses/Removable Unibrows work perfectly. [If you have an ACTUAL Unibrow though, you might be best suited getting that worked on at your local 'Happy Ending' salon before continuing with this tutorial] The object here is to NOT look like yourself. but still be identifiable for completeing your later task of #CreepProof. [See #RulesOfCreepin]
Next, you must find a #CreepApprentice. All successful Creeps require at least two people. One will non-chalantly snap a photo and the other will pull off the creep. It is important that you pick an apprentice that is interested in learning how to become a #CreepPro like yourself, but also takes direction well.. Picking the wrong apprentice will lead to #CreepDefeat everytime.
Once you have chosen a trusty apprentice, practice your signature #CreepPose in the mirror. This is one of the most important steps as it must be executed perfectly. Everyone knows the #3 rule of Creepin is that you MUST have a SIGNATURE creep pose that you use in every shot. Mine is sort of like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, moments before death. [Contorted face/crypt-keeper fingers] This is so later the #OGCreeps may be easily identified by thier pose, even if their disguise is hiding their true identity.
Creeps must always look and smell their best. One component of creepin that most forget to master is the art of NOT looking like a creep. Remember folks, the object here is to NOT GET CAUGHT. You dont want to give away your intentions off the bat. If you look the part, might as well accept that you are not going to accomplish a successful creep. You dont want any non-creeps to spot you. This is a mission from start to finish, so do it right or dont do it at all. A creepers biggest foes are body odor and a general natural "look of creepiness". If you already look like a creep in real life, do not attempt this sport because a #CreepHater will spot you a mile away. Plus, if you ACTUALLY stalk people or are a pedophile, we will not accept you into #CirqueDeCreep anyway because this is a SPORT not a way of life. You, #PedoCreep, have already crossed the line into the realm of #ActualCreeper, which is something entirely different than what we are discussing. [Ewww, creepy]
Next, you have to find a location. Walmart, Walgreens, Carnivals.. these are perfect places to #scopeacreep. Once there, find a suitable host for your creepin adventure and #CommenceTaCreepin!!! Once you have found a host [unbeknownst to them of course], creep as close as possible without being discovered, strike your #SignatureCreepPose, and have your apprentice snap a photo for #creepproof. Remember, once you have accomplished a successful creep, submit your entry to KarizmaticClover@yahoo.com to enter to win the #CreepersKitForSuccess. Once you have submitted undeniable PROOF to the #creeparmy, you will get an invite to an exclusive Twitter Community [#CirqueDeCreep] where you can find the #CreepHallOfFame and enter the weekly contests for #creepoftheweek. Creepin is a privilege. Only the most outrageous/masterfully creative creeps will be accepted into the #creeparmy. This isnt PLANKING. This is creepin. Plankers are creepers only nemesis and must be eradicated. If you've ever planked in your life you know its totally GAY. The only time planking might be mildly entertaining is when the 'planker' is unaware he's planked [ie a person passes out drunk in plank position on a staircase or front lawn]. Creepin crushes planking like rock crushes scissors.
If you have any questions, or feel I have missed something, feel free to post it below and I will have someone in the #CreepArmy answer. :)
Creepin Commandments
#1 You MUST have a disguise.
- This disguise must be easily removable as you can't let the whole world know you are a creep. Creeps do their creepin undercover so you only put the disguise on last minute.
#2 NO ONE must discover you are Creepin.
- If a creep is discovered [ie you get caught] You must immediately stop the creep and accept #CreepDefeat. The reason being, If the person you are creepin on catches you, they are probably gonna be #CreepedOut. Creepin people out is not the goal here. EVER. You arent a spider or a cockroach, you are a human being! Act like one. You may try again some other time, however, but your #CreepStatus will be in limbo until you pull off another successful creep. You are not eligible to become a #CreepGod at all if you have EVER accepted #creepdefeat.
#3 You MUST have a signature Creep Pose.
-This is used by the #CreepArmy to identify you in photos or video where you are creepin, but are wearing such a masterful disguise that it is impossible to ascertain who the hell you are.
#4 You MUST have #CreepProof.
- Stories of successful creeps are great. But one cannot call themselves a #creeppro without proof. The proof is in the pudding, friends. You Must have at least one photo and/or video to show that what you say transpired, TRULY did. The easiest way to accomplish this is to turn the flash/sound off on your phone and act like you are texting. There are other ways to disguise it, but Ill let you figure that out on your own.
#5 you Must not know your victim
- a successful creep can only be pulled off if the "victim" of the creep is unaware. Creeping up behind someone and snapping a photo mid #creeppose and wearing said #creepGear is HARD work, this is why its such an elite sport. A creep is not considered a true creep unless the rules are followed. A creep may NOT be staged. It must be 100% on a whim to be considered #Creeptastic.
*The only time it would be Ok to know your victim is when they are in the middle of something very serious and you #SneakACreep. IE: Your uncle is signing a deed to a new house, and there you go creepin in the background.*
#6 You must take a #CreepApprentice
- A successful creep requires two people. It is impossible to execute a successful creep when nobody is helping you. One to take #creepproof and one to pull off the creep. You may not move up in #creepstatus until your apprentice has moved up in theirs. This is how the #creeparmy was formed. There are rules in place for a reason and you, as a #novicecreep, must follow them.
#7 The creepier, the better.
- The harder the creep is to execute/the more skill it takes the faster you will move up in #creepstature. For example, creepin on an old lady/man [while hilarious] is easy, they move slow so you have a while to get up to them and their senses are dull so they wont sense you right behind them or smell you or whatever. While this is a very entertaining creep, it is not the most sophisticated. A creep that takes more skill would be creepin on a cop, or the most sophisticated and elusive of all, creepin on ANOTHER creep. Catching someone doing something creepy in a photo While your creeping is grounds to make you an instant #creepgod. [example; a thief is stealing something, you catch them mid steal, with a creep]
*You may creep into scenes too. One less used form of creepin is the #incognitocreep. For example, a woman is screaming at the lady at the register, you put on your #creepdisguise and then have your creep apprentice snap a photo of the scene [without being discovered] with you clearly creeping somewhere in the background. This works wonderful in crowds. [A variation of 'Where's Waldo?' where instead of finding a young Freddy Krueger, you're scoping out the creepy guy in disguise poking out from behind a park bench]*
#8 #creatorsofcreepin will stay the creators for all of eternity.
- Any #PiggyBackinCreeps will have their #creepstatus revoked for life. #creatorsofcreepin reserve the right to revoke any #creeperstatus they want at any time due to possible infraction of rules. Even #creepgods are not above this action.
#9 Above all, have fun.
- Being creepy is a good time. Unlike planking, this is a excursion that takes massive skill, and ninja like stealth.
#10 Creep Wisely.
- Never Creep under the influence. Not only will you most definitely get caught, but nothing is creepier than a drunk person blowing jager breath on a strangers back in the middle of Walmart. #CreepinWhileIntoxicated will surely end in you hancuffed to a patrol car or bleeding from the eyes after being maced repeatedly. If you decide to attempt this, dont say we didnt warn you.
If you're here it's probably because you saw our YouTube video on the rules to #Creepin and need a little more guidance. I hear ya partner, creepin ain't easy.
If you've already attempted Creepin and weren't successful, [See #CreepDefeat] that's because there are a lot of components that go into becoming a #CreepGod and some of them have to do more with practice and less with following rules.
First thing to do when preparing for to go Creepin is to get into #CreepMode. Most of you are thinking, hey that's easy. Well if you've been a Creeper as long as I have it is, but for a #CreeperApprentice it may be a tad more difficult. When I am getting into creepmode I like to spy on my neighbors from directly outside their bedroom window. Why? Because its creepy as hell.
You may find you like to watch R. Kelly videos [and I'm not talking about his music], study 'before' and 'after' pictures of Michael Jackson, or if you're a man, dress up in women's tights and fondle yourself in the mirror. [Hey, whatever get's you going partner, I dont judge]. It doesnt matter how you do it, all that matters is that you get the job done.
Once you have transistioned into #CreepMode, the next order of business is to figure out your #CreepGear. As you know from Rule #1 of Creepin, you MUST have a disguise. Disguises must be something you can easily put on and remove, because as you know the second rule of Creepin is that NO ONE must discover you're a Creep. Things like Coke Bottle Glasses/Reindeer Noses/Removable Unibrows work perfectly. [If you have an ACTUAL Unibrow though, you might be best suited getting that worked on at your local 'Happy Ending' salon before continuing with this tutorial] The object here is to NOT look like yourself. but still be identifiable for completeing your later task of #CreepProof. [See #RulesOfCreepin]
Next, you must find a #CreepApprentice. All successful Creeps require at least two people. One will non-chalantly snap a photo and the other will pull off the creep. It is important that you pick an apprentice that is interested in learning how to become a #CreepPro like yourself, but also takes direction well.. Picking the wrong apprentice will lead to #CreepDefeat everytime.
Once you have chosen a trusty apprentice, practice your signature #CreepPose in the mirror. This is one of the most important steps as it must be executed perfectly. Everyone knows the #3 rule of Creepin is that you MUST have a SIGNATURE creep pose that you use in every shot. Mine is sort of like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, moments before death. [Contorted face/crypt-keeper fingers] This is so later the #OGCreeps may be easily identified by thier pose, even if their disguise is hiding their true identity.
Creeps must always look and smell their best. One component of creepin that most forget to master is the art of NOT looking like a creep. Remember folks, the object here is to NOT GET CAUGHT. You dont want to give away your intentions off the bat. If you look the part, might as well accept that you are not going to accomplish a successful creep. You dont want any non-creeps to spot you. This is a mission from start to finish, so do it right or dont do it at all. A creepers biggest foes are body odor and a general natural "look of creepiness". If you already look like a creep in real life, do not attempt this sport because a #CreepHater will spot you a mile away. Plus, if you ACTUALLY stalk people or are a pedophile, we will not accept you into #CirqueDeCreep anyway because this is a SPORT not a way of life. You, #PedoCreep, have already crossed the line into the realm of #ActualCreeper, which is something entirely different than what we are discussing. [Ewww, creepy]
Next, you have to find a location. Walmart, Walgreens, Carnivals.. these are perfect places to #scopeacreep. Once there, find a suitable host for your creepin adventure and #CommenceTaCreepin!!! Once you have found a host [unbeknownst to them of course], creep as close as possible without being discovered, strike your #SignatureCreepPose, and have your apprentice snap a photo for #creepproof. Remember, once you have accomplished a successful creep, submit your entry to KarizmaticClover@yahoo.com to enter to win the #CreepersKitForSuccess. Once you have submitted undeniable PROOF to the #creeparmy, you will get an invite to an exclusive Twitter Community [#CirqueDeCreep] where you can find the #CreepHallOfFame and enter the weekly contests for #creepoftheweek. Creepin is a privilege. Only the most outrageous/masterfully creative creeps will be accepted into the #creeparmy. This isnt PLANKING. This is creepin. Plankers are creepers only nemesis and must be eradicated. If you've ever planked in your life you know its totally GAY. The only time planking might be mildly entertaining is when the 'planker' is unaware he's planked [ie a person passes out drunk in plank position on a staircase or front lawn]. Creepin crushes planking like rock crushes scissors.
If you have any questions, or feel I have missed something, feel free to post it below and I will have someone in the #CreepArmy answer. :)
Creepin Commandments
#1 You MUST have a disguise.
- This disguise must be easily removable as you can't let the whole world know you are a creep. Creeps do their creepin undercover so you only put the disguise on last minute.
#2 NO ONE must discover you are Creepin.
- If a creep is discovered [ie you get caught] You must immediately stop the creep and accept #CreepDefeat. The reason being, If the person you are creepin on catches you, they are probably gonna be #CreepedOut. Creepin people out is not the goal here. EVER. You arent a spider or a cockroach, you are a human being! Act like one. You may try again some other time, however, but your #CreepStatus will be in limbo until you pull off another successful creep. You are not eligible to become a #CreepGod at all if you have EVER accepted #creepdefeat.
#3 You MUST have a signature Creep Pose.
-This is used by the #CreepArmy to identify you in photos or video where you are creepin, but are wearing such a masterful disguise that it is impossible to ascertain who the hell you are.
#4 You MUST have #CreepProof.
- Stories of successful creeps are great. But one cannot call themselves a #creeppro without proof. The proof is in the pudding, friends. You Must have at least one photo and/or video to show that what you say transpired, TRULY did. The easiest way to accomplish this is to turn the flash/sound off on your phone and act like you are texting. There are other ways to disguise it, but Ill let you figure that out on your own.
#5 you Must not know your victim
- a successful creep can only be pulled off if the "victim" of the creep is unaware. Creeping up behind someone and snapping a photo mid #creeppose and wearing said #creepGear is HARD work, this is why its such an elite sport. A creep is not considered a true creep unless the rules are followed. A creep may NOT be staged. It must be 100% on a whim to be considered #Creeptastic.
*The only time it would be Ok to know your victim is when they are in the middle of something very serious and you #SneakACreep. IE: Your uncle is signing a deed to a new house, and there you go creepin in the background.*
#6 You must take a #CreepApprentice
- A successful creep requires two people. It is impossible to execute a successful creep when nobody is helping you. One to take #creepproof and one to pull off the creep. You may not move up in #creepstatus until your apprentice has moved up in theirs. This is how the #creeparmy was formed. There are rules in place for a reason and you, as a #novicecreep, must follow them.
#7 The creepier, the better.
- The harder the creep is to execute/the more skill it takes the faster you will move up in #creepstature. For example, creepin on an old lady/man [while hilarious] is easy, they move slow so you have a while to get up to them and their senses are dull so they wont sense you right behind them or smell you or whatever. While this is a very entertaining creep, it is not the most sophisticated. A creep that takes more skill would be creepin on a cop, or the most sophisticated and elusive of all, creepin on ANOTHER creep. Catching someone doing something creepy in a photo While your creeping is grounds to make you an instant #creepgod. [example; a thief is stealing something, you catch them mid steal, with a creep]
*You may creep into scenes too. One less used form of creepin is the #incognitocreep. For example, a woman is screaming at the lady at the register, you put on your #creepdisguise and then have your creep apprentice snap a photo of the scene [without being discovered] with you clearly creeping somewhere in the background. This works wonderful in crowds. [A variation of 'Where's Waldo?' where instead of finding a young Freddy Krueger, you're scoping out the creepy guy in disguise poking out from behind a park bench]*
#8 #creatorsofcreepin will stay the creators for all of eternity.
- Any #PiggyBackinCreeps will have their #creepstatus revoked for life. #creatorsofcreepin reserve the right to revoke any #creeperstatus they want at any time due to possible infraction of rules. Even #creepgods are not above this action.
#9 Above all, have fun.
- Being creepy is a good time. Unlike planking, this is a excursion that takes massive skill, and ninja like stealth.
#10 Creep Wisely.
- Never Creep under the influence. Not only will you most definitely get caught, but nothing is creepier than a drunk person blowing jager breath on a strangers back in the middle of Walmart. #CreepinWhileIntoxicated will surely end in you hancuffed to a patrol car or bleeding from the eyes after being maced repeatedly. If you decide to attempt this, dont say we didnt warn you.
11.2.11
Time Flies When Your 78.
Yeah, I know. It's been a while. So what? I been busy. You know, with life. Let me just say that as a night owl, sometimes your nights bleed into your days and RedBull doesn't help the situation. If you are wondering why I'm even talking about this, it's because this is what has happened today/yesterday. I'm cracked out on a case of RedBull and ready to write a fucking blog. They say as you get older time seems shorter. The years fly by faster, your days seem like seconds, and things just sort of blur together. This is because each year you survive is only a fraction of the years you've been on earth. [If you = 98 yrs old, that = 1/98th of your life]I am only in my 20's and I already notice this happening to me. I used to stay up all night and it felt like YEARS. I felt like I had soo much time to get so many things accomplished. Now I just feel like I blink and lose days at a time. I imagine myself 78 years old on a Monday in March, still "breaking night" and cracking open cases of RedBull, then I blink and its a Friday in July. I seriously have a legit fear this will happen to me.
It's been a while since I blogged, lot's of things have happened, and I expect lot's more things to happen in the future. For one I got kindasorta Engaged. I know what you're thinking, WHAT poor schlub would agree to this? Well, that's why I said kindasorta. We've been together for an indefinite amount of time and so it was like, National Shit or Get Off the Pot Day or something and we just figured, what the hell? Let's get this charade in the works. We haven't set a date yet, I guess I'll have to wait til pigs start flying around for that one. I'm pretty sure that will happen within my lifetime though, so I'm not worried about it. (For those of you thinking, BITCH! That's never going to happen! Please refer back to a skit on SNL where Chris Rock talks about never seeing a Black President in HIS lifetime. Hahahah. What an idiot.)
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'll have more to update later, but for now the RedBull is wearing off and I've taken a turn for the worse. My eyelids are drooping, burning. If this was a United Flight I'd have a bomber in the back waiting to take my Bird to the promise land. I'm about to go Zero to Sixty towards the bed in the next 42 seconds and hope I don't run out of gas and crash on the way there.
-Jessa
It's been a while since I blogged, lot's of things have happened, and I expect lot's more things to happen in the future. For one I got kindasorta Engaged. I know what you're thinking, WHAT poor schlub would agree to this? Well, that's why I said kindasorta. We've been together for an indefinite amount of time and so it was like, National Shit or Get Off the Pot Day or something and we just figured, what the hell? Let's get this charade in the works. We haven't set a date yet, I guess I'll have to wait til pigs start flying around for that one. I'm pretty sure that will happen within my lifetime though, so I'm not worried about it. (For those of you thinking, BITCH! That's never going to happen! Please refer back to a skit on SNL where Chris Rock talks about never seeing a Black President in HIS lifetime. Hahahah. What an idiot.)
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'll have more to update later, but for now the RedBull is wearing off and I've taken a turn for the worse. My eyelids are drooping, burning. If this was a United Flight I'd have a bomber in the back waiting to take my Bird to the promise land. I'm about to go Zero to Sixty towards the bed in the next 42 seconds and hope I don't run out of gas and crash on the way there.
-Jessa
16.1.11
Erm, remember that job I loved?
OK. So I totally left the Modeling place. Never went back. Nope. Hate those MF'ers with a passion and wish the deepest of pains and misery on their spawns. They disgust me.
I was having fun for a few months playing into the whole, "I'm sooo much better than you" vibe they had going on there. Then one day like catching a whiff of a rotting carcass I woke up and realized what a douche bag I had become. Not cool with going back. Like, EVER. I have actually made it my DUTY to sabotage any stands I see in the malls or at fairs with their minions trying to lure in underage girls with promises of flash bulbs and chance meetings with Justin Bieber.
Those people actually TRAIN you to manipulate and hurt people. It's absolutely grotesque. It's all part of their scheme for world domination, I think. Part of their "Biggest Loser" Boot camp style training class is a psychology session on how to mind-fuck someone. Literally, not. even. kidding. folks. It's called Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy and basically means you get into their head without them knowing and finger bang their brain until they believe that YOU are the only thing they need. The answer to all of their prayers, the frosting to their cake. The more tears the better. This is ACTUALLY part of training. Except they don't call it making someone cry, they call it creating VALUE. The more VALUE the better, because the more someone cries around you, the more they trust and feel a connection with you, the more connected they are with you, the better chance you have at raping their wallet.
Someone needs to take them DOWN.
Here's how it really goes. I know I had a post here before sugar coating this atrocity but now I'm totally out of that dump and feel my readers have a right to know. I'm still not going to say their name, but I will say that most of the companies out there like them, are all the same. Beware. This post is going to be brutally honest.
They seek out underprivileged girls, girls who are teased in school, girls that aren't really attractive and probably never will be, girls with low self esteem, broken families, basically anything that would make a person considered weak and they get them to come into their office for an interview.
They prey on your children, mom's and dad's, while they are at school or the mall, just hanging with their friends. They make them feel special for a second and brag about success stories to them that never really happened. They get your child hooked on the idea, on the DREAM before the sales person ("advisor") even makes initial contact with YOU. They collect information from the child that they will use against the parent later. They put on a show for you, its a mind fuck from the moment you walk in, from the video playing on the flat screens, the "models" lounging around the office, to the little quips your "advisor" says when he/she walks you back to their office to conduct your "interview". Your "advisor" by the way, is a salesperson who's ONLY goal is to find out how much money you have in your wallet and decide how much to charge you to "make your kid a star". Their paycheck DEPENDS on it.
They get you in their office that they have cleverly designed by hanging up pictures of "discoveries" of the company (Pictures we ripped out of magazines) and filling binders up with blank paper clearly showing the words ACCEPTED and NOT ACCEPTED on them and purposefully filling the "not accepted" one to the brim and putting it somewhere that you'll see it, but won't question it. (These are little tricks they teach in training) Even the pictures on the company website of discoveries are fake, none of the models they claim to have "found" were found by them at all. They sit you down, tell you this is exclusive and we have maybe 3 spots left and its only for the best of the best. They have questions designed to invoke certain emotions and dig deeper by asking things like "how does that make you feel?" and exercises in imagining their life as a model and describing words like "confidence" as feelings. On occasion, if they can't get deep enough into your psyche with all of that, they pull out the inkblots. Then they make you all cry (which I explained before), tell you how much you suck and how much better this will make you, all the while slyly finding out if you can afford the program or not. Once they are satisfied that they have the answer they need, they get your kid to the point of passing out with anticipation and then if it was decided during the interview that you have the money, they accept you. If you have allot of money, they charge you double. If you have less, they start off the price lower, and if it was determined that you are just too broke during the interview, they don't accept your child at all.
Its a scam. A malicious, calculated scam. I don't even want to talk about it anymore because it makes me so sick that they prey on a child's dreams the same way con-artists prey on the elderly and they get away with it.
Even I was tricked into buying into "the show" at first, but that's all it is, A SHOW. I was so excited to start the job so you must know these people are good at what they do. I am one jaded individual and I pride myself on how hard I make it to pull the wool over my eyes. If they did it to me, they can do it to you. Keep your heart guarded. Because they are still out there.
This has been a Public Service Announcement provided by The Bitch.
I was having fun for a few months playing into the whole, "I'm sooo much better than you" vibe they had going on there. Then one day like catching a whiff of a rotting carcass I woke up and realized what a douche bag I had become. Not cool with going back. Like, EVER. I have actually made it my DUTY to sabotage any stands I see in the malls or at fairs with their minions trying to lure in underage girls with promises of flash bulbs and chance meetings with Justin Bieber.
Those people actually TRAIN you to manipulate and hurt people. It's absolutely grotesque. It's all part of their scheme for world domination, I think. Part of their "Biggest Loser" Boot camp style training class is a psychology session on how to mind-fuck someone. Literally, not. even. kidding. folks. It's called Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy and basically means you get into their head without them knowing and finger bang their brain until they believe that YOU are the only thing they need. The answer to all of their prayers, the frosting to their cake. The more tears the better. This is ACTUALLY part of training. Except they don't call it making someone cry, they call it creating VALUE. The more VALUE the better, because the more someone cries around you, the more they trust and feel a connection with you, the more connected they are with you, the better chance you have at raping their wallet.
Someone needs to take them DOWN.
Here's how it really goes. I know I had a post here before sugar coating this atrocity but now I'm totally out of that dump and feel my readers have a right to know. I'm still not going to say their name, but I will say that most of the companies out there like them, are all the same. Beware. This post is going to be brutally honest.
They seek out underprivileged girls, girls who are teased in school, girls that aren't really attractive and probably never will be, girls with low self esteem, broken families, basically anything that would make a person considered weak and they get them to come into their office for an interview.
They prey on your children, mom's and dad's, while they are at school or the mall, just hanging with their friends. They make them feel special for a second and brag about success stories to them that never really happened. They get your child hooked on the idea, on the DREAM before the sales person ("advisor") even makes initial contact with YOU. They collect information from the child that they will use against the parent later. They put on a show for you, its a mind fuck from the moment you walk in, from the video playing on the flat screens, the "models" lounging around the office, to the little quips your "advisor" says when he/she walks you back to their office to conduct your "interview". Your "advisor" by the way, is a salesperson who's ONLY goal is to find out how much money you have in your wallet and decide how much to charge you to "make your kid a star". Their paycheck DEPENDS on it.
They get you in their office that they have cleverly designed by hanging up pictures of "discoveries" of the company (Pictures we ripped out of magazines) and filling binders up with blank paper clearly showing the words ACCEPTED and NOT ACCEPTED on them and purposefully filling the "not accepted" one to the brim and putting it somewhere that you'll see it, but won't question it. (These are little tricks they teach in training) Even the pictures on the company website of discoveries are fake, none of the models they claim to have "found" were found by them at all. They sit you down, tell you this is exclusive and we have maybe 3 spots left and its only for the best of the best. They have questions designed to invoke certain emotions and dig deeper by asking things like "how does that make you feel?" and exercises in imagining their life as a model and describing words like "confidence" as feelings. On occasion, if they can't get deep enough into your psyche with all of that, they pull out the inkblots. Then they make you all cry (which I explained before), tell you how much you suck and how much better this will make you, all the while slyly finding out if you can afford the program or not. Once they are satisfied that they have the answer they need, they get your kid to the point of passing out with anticipation and then if it was decided during the interview that you have the money, they accept you. If you have allot of money, they charge you double. If you have less, they start off the price lower, and if it was determined that you are just too broke during the interview, they don't accept your child at all.
Its a scam. A malicious, calculated scam. I don't even want to talk about it anymore because it makes me so sick that they prey on a child's dreams the same way con-artists prey on the elderly and they get away with it.
Even I was tricked into buying into "the show" at first, but that's all it is, A SHOW. I was so excited to start the job so you must know these people are good at what they do. I am one jaded individual and I pride myself on how hard I make it to pull the wool over my eyes. If they did it to me, they can do it to you. Keep your heart guarded. Because they are still out there.
This has been a Public Service Announcement provided by The Bitch.
13.1.11
*Updates to come*
Soo many posts to write, sooo little time.
I will try to update in the coming weeks as sooo much has changed! :)
I will try to update in the coming weeks as sooo much has changed! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
